28 March 2021

Here’s to 2021

I always want to jump back in writing, sharing what I’ve been discovered – Be it beauty, new hang out or personal update. Despite having the urge to update, there’s always something holding me back. I was not sure if it’s the right time, the best time, to write and started to run off with something else in mind like work urgencies.

Being away from writing, journaling has taunted me with various side effects where I started to lose my sense of clarity. I was experiencing a terrible burn out over the last two years where I kept on questioning whether marketing and advertising are the skills I should master. Hence, those who are close to me would sense that I have changed, more remote and isolated. The worst is, I was unreachable to the point I avoided replying to anything outside work. The pandemic itself has made the case even worse where I have no self-awareness, lost my identity and work non-stop.

I lost myself and my confidence.

Well, with my boyfriend’s constant advice I have decided the break the chain and moved to a new job just to re-discover myself by having more me-time. I pay for Calm App annual subscription for meditation, spending more quality time with my boyfriend and really, building my confidence.

So how am I doing now? To be honest, I have never been greater than before. I met a new team which it grows my mindset to explore new ideas and adventures while I have left that spectrum for far too long. Also, they inspired me to be a greater person. I have started to enrol myself in mini-courses to improve social media strategies, copywriting (which something I wish to master for a long time) and watch Ted Talk just to lift my confidence.

The best part is, I am in a happy place. We were having a coffee session and my boyfriend started to ask how am I feeling. I was delighted to tell him I wish to improve myself by enrolling on various courses and find where I should be sharpening my skills. Without a beat, he said he is happy with what he has heard from me. To my surprise, I never know that he has been this supportive of my decisions up until now. Indeed, I always wonder whether he will ever be supportive if I have chosen a career and push my boundaries for my fulfilment. That is because we rarely talk about dreams together, it’s more on a realistic conversation on how are things going and solid stuff.

I am thrilled that he has been supporting me “secretly” without telling me to my face. Moreover, I had a warm fuzzy feeling when he said he is happy for me. It has been a solid 13 years of going through ups and downs together as a couple without saying a word.

Is that a solid relationship? I bet it is. He is not only my boyfriend but my fiancé now We got engaged on 2 February 2020 on our first overseas trip to Nha Trang, Vietnam. Here’s to 2021 for a better ride and self-discovery.

This post is not just merely sharing my experience, I hope it inspires those who are lost and looking for an answer. The answer is not always clear but believes in yourself, you will find your light. Just trust me, it took me two years, it was painful and difficult but I have found my light.

You will too.

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